Goals without an Outcome

A few weeks ago I participated in a teleconference, one of the things that was focused on was working towards your goal but not being attached to an outcome. I've heard this saying numerous times before. My response has always been yeah right. For me they were one in the same. If they weren't how would you ever know when you have reached your goal?
Goal: Lose weight
Outcome: Weight loss, smaller clothes size

Goal accomplished outcome received, see one in the same.

Last week I was talking to a Yoga Master who said almost the exact same thing "focus on the goal and don't be attached to the outcome"!  The same message, apparently there was a lesson of some sort I was supposed to pay attention too. Since it was only the two of us I explained my inability to separate the two concepts. She said it is because I am always attached to an outcome and by doing so I'm actually having a disconnect with what I want and the energy I am giving off. I'd been unknowingly self sabotaging!
Goal: Lose weight
Outcome: Weight loss
Energy output while working towards goal: frustration at not losing weight, repeating I'm not losing weight, I'm fluffy, my clothes don't fit, etc.
Result: no weight loss, goal not currently achieved

The harder I worked towards my goal with no results the more negativity I was putting out! But being the eternal optimist I was still working towards my goal. We talked about the "bigger goals" I'm working towards. My bigger goal in releasing weight (subconsciously if you lose something you want to find it, if you release it, you are letting it go, freeing yourself from it) is to be healthier.
My new outlook on goals & outcomes is shifting and I've now added in benefits, positive kudos to keep me focused on my goals & not the outcomes
Goal: Be healthier
Outcome: I'm healthier
Benefits on my journey towards my goal: I'm stronger than ever, weight is falling off, learning new things, eating healthier

Instead of focusing on the fact I'm not releasing the weight as quickly as I had anticipated. I'm celebrating what I have accomplished. I'm finding my abdominal muscles, I can hold the plank position for almost two minutes since my core is much stronger, I have more endurance when working out, this is leading to longer workouts, which is making my body crave healthier food options because the last thing I want after working out is a candy bar (cake maybe we all have our weaknesses)!  

Now that I know how I should be approaching selecting my goals I'm doing it correctly (it's working this way for me right now when it stops working I'm sure I'll get another lesson). I'm striving towards my goals and not being attached to an outcome. This is still hard for I've had years of doing it another way with another mindset.  This new mindset is making me happier and my goals much more attainable, at least on paper it's only been a week!  I hope this works for you with your goals on your journey too!  

Falling down and getting back up

In every election, there are winners and losers.  We all know this, and we accept it pretty easily, but we don't often think about what it takes to be a gracious loser.  This morning, I got a great first hand look at one.

A friend of mine ran for our local school board, and this morning, we found out that she didn't win.  Yes, we're all disappointed, because those of us who supported her really believed in her and her ideas.  It's not the end of the world, though, as she was quick to point out. She can still make change, do what she thinks is right, and make this a positive experience.  She can try again, and she is certainly not without a voice.  She just isn't going to do that from the seat on the school board.

It's been really inspiring to watch.  She has been graceful and gracious in defeat. She also isn't defeated in spirit. That's important.  We all lose at things in life, we all fall down, but we can choose to get back up and try again or take a different route or learn form our missteps. We don't have to wallow. We don;t have to give up, and we can always change our minds.

When we are looking to create something new, we need to be realistic about what happens if we don't succeed.  We have choices when things go bad, and we have to keep that in mind. How we deal with life's ups and downs defines us, and gives us opportunity to change and grow in ways we often don't consider until we have failed at something.

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." - Winston Churchill

They say it comes from within

We've all heard numerous sayings about how change comes from within, be the change you want to see in the world, like attracts like, etc. I'm all for that theory!  I try to hold onto my positive energy vibe.  What we put out attracts, where your mind goes energy flows! I've read my fair share of self-help books if you couldn't tell!  We've all had this proven true when we get something we want and we feel amazing like we're on cloud nine! It's almost scary how one action can change our whole attitude good or bad in an instant! 

What happens when life throws you a curve ball? You'd think by now I'd be able to handle setbacks (hiccups as I refer to them because in the overall scope of life they are just one minimal moment) with grace, but that's not always the case. When hiccups have occurred in my life, if they are something I've created or have some control over I have no problem changing them or at least changing the way I react to them.  I try to step outside of myself and look at the situation from a different view point. I'll ask friends, seek professional help, meditate, take up a new activity, dance, play music, try different modalities (I just took my first Dahn Yoga class yesterday) or find a creative outlet. 

Sometimes no matter what I try I still feel like I want to crawl out of my skin! I can't change the situation or get out of my energy rut! I feel lost, like I'm flailing around at the mercy of everyone else; especially when the situation I'm in is caused by others. As much as I would like to believe we can persuade others to do what we want, we all have our own free will or there is some protocol that has to be followed in order to get a result. It's those moments that remind me the only thing I have control over is how I feel.

I try new things not previously tried (this time around). I'll go to the park to relive my youth. I'll even hang upside down on the monkey bars after all the extra blood to our heads could just help! After all I'm trying to get out of my head and back into my heart. Eventually something works if only temporarily. Learning to not over analyze, just release it and go with the flow is one of the hardest lessons! This is why we're all works in progress!  We survive and can thrive even with our battle wounds...those make us stronger and wiser for the next round! 

How do you handle life's hiccups?