They say it comes from within

We've all heard numerous sayings about how change comes from within, be the change you want to see in the world, like attracts like, etc. I'm all for that theory!  I try to hold onto my positive energy vibe.  What we put out attracts, where your mind goes energy flows! I've read my fair share of self-help books if you couldn't tell!  We've all had this proven true when we get something we want and we feel amazing like we're on cloud nine! It's almost scary how one action can change our whole attitude good or bad in an instant! 

What happens when life throws you a curve ball? You'd think by now I'd be able to handle setbacks (hiccups as I refer to them because in the overall scope of life they are just one minimal moment) with grace, but that's not always the case. When hiccups have occurred in my life, if they are something I've created or have some control over I have no problem changing them or at least changing the way I react to them.  I try to step outside of myself and look at the situation from a different view point. I'll ask friends, seek professional help, meditate, take up a new activity, dance, play music, try different modalities (I just took my first Dahn Yoga class yesterday) or find a creative outlet. 

Sometimes no matter what I try I still feel like I want to crawl out of my skin! I can't change the situation or get out of my energy rut! I feel lost, like I'm flailing around at the mercy of everyone else; especially when the situation I'm in is caused by others. As much as I would like to believe we can persuade others to do what we want, we all have our own free will or there is some protocol that has to be followed in order to get a result. It's those moments that remind me the only thing I have control over is how I feel.

I try new things not previously tried (this time around). I'll go to the park to relive my youth. I'll even hang upside down on the monkey bars after all the extra blood to our heads could just help! After all I'm trying to get out of my head and back into my heart. Eventually something works if only temporarily. Learning to not over analyze, just release it and go with the flow is one of the hardest lessons! This is why we're all works in progress!  We survive and can thrive even with our battle wounds...those make us stronger and wiser for the next round! 

How do you handle life's hiccups? 

Change - it is not all hard

It's amazing how powerful change can be.  Making changes can influence how we feel about ourselves, our attitudes towards life, and even our behavior.  As difficult as it can seem, change that we willingly and willfully bring into our lives gives us a sense of empowerment and reminds us that we are capable of influencing the world around us.  If change seems too scary, start small. It's okay to build your confidence, to stretch out transitions, or to take baby steps.  Just making the change is a brave act.

When our lives get to a point where we are just going through the motions, surviving not thriving, it's time for change! 

There is no point in remaining miserable, uncomfortable or frustrated if there is another option that is much more favorable to our overall well being.  How we change our lives can be subtle or dramatic, and it can be something we embrace or struggle with. It's up to us to decide how we handle change.

There are many ways to make a change.  A big change is going to have an immediate effect that everyone around you can see.  If your life needs a complete overhaul, radical types of changes might be exactly what you want and need.  You can go back to school for a new career, leave a relationship that's unhealthy, or move to a new community.  Of course, not all of us need something this drastic.  If you need something more subtle, there are plenty of options for making change on many, many levels.  You can make physical changes like changing your appearance- lose weight, change your hair, adopt a new style or pick a nail polish that's it out of your comfort zone.  You can try changing your inner landscape through the practice of meditation or mindfulness, therapy, gratitude or other inner transformation techniques.  We can also transform our environments: paint a room, bring in some seasonal decorations, rearrange your space, get a plant or a pet (if your lifestyle permits). 

Whatever degree of change you make, it'll have a ripple effect on your life. The old saying, "if it ain't broke don't fix it" doesn't mention that if you don't make changes your life can't improve..."out with the old in with the new!"  Often taking that leap ends up with results that are equal to or better than our expectations!  Be fearless...make a change! 

Inspire

We've all had that "Ah Ha" moment when you get an idea, when you've finally figured out the solution to your current query, when the light bulb about your head suddenly turns on...that's inspiration! I know some may say coming up with a solution to a problem isn't inspiration but it is to me. Once I've accomplished that my thoughts have awakened and are generally building up momentum! I often have what I refer to as "accidental inspiration", when I see something or someone doing an activity which starts up my creative juices or when I'm doing something that prompts others to be inspired!

We all need inspiration without it nothing would have evolved. Inspiration alone is not enough, it's learning to take the thoughts in our head and manifest them into reality. We've all been inspired to make something, when it appears to be doable without major construction, I tend to jump in both feet first! This has lead me to tackle new tasks, take several new classes, not all of them academic but definitely a learning experiences! A few months ago I was inspired to reupholster my couch (I've been cat sitting & the house guests clawed my couch to the point I couldn't take it anymore). I took on the task of reupholstering it. I figured worst case scenario I'd need to acquire a new couch but that was the point I was at anyways. I was successful! It was not as difficult as I had imagined but much more time consuming than I had planned (whoever assembled the couch originally was staple & nail happy)! Since my friends have seen what I accomplished, they've been inspired to reupholster their furniture...I've been recruited by them as well.

I inspire and become inspired by movement on a rather frequent basis. I'm that person who dances down the aisles of the store because the song moves me. I tend to also accompany it with singing under my breath since I wouldn't want to wound bystanders. "There's always time to dance" as far as I'm concerned and I'm not even claiming to do it well! The other day I was waiting for my friend to get something out of her car. I was standing on the sidewalk doing the yoga tree pose when a lady walked by. She commented that she could never do that. I replied with yes you can and it doesn't matter if you can't balance on one leg some days trees sway more than others more than others! Next thing I knew we were both trees on the sidewalk!  She told me that was more fun than she thought and she's now going to look into taking yoga.

We never want to lose our spark! It's important to take time daily or at least be open to things that inspire us. It helps our journey in connecting! So go out and dance, sing, paint, invent a new item, reupholster your couch, whatever you can can to inspire and get inspired...it's contagious! 

We love being inspired! How do you inspire or get inspired?

Celebrate!

There are so many ways to celebrate. It's made sitting down to write this really hard because I have so many great examples from my life, and life with Heather.  We've celebrated big things, like births and marriages and graduations.  We've celebrated little things like me surviving public speaking that I was not prepared for or Heather cleaning off her dining table.  We celebrate for no particular reason sometimes, too.

Celebrations are affirmations of the good of life.  They can be huge, grand events, or quiet moments.  Some of them are meticulously planned and sometimes they just happen.  All that counts is that we acknowledge the happiness, strength, and successes of our lives, because they are the moments that prove we can change, we can triumph, and we can reach our goals and milestones no matter what is in our way.

Heather and I once threw a Farmer's Market party this called for my good china and silver.

Here are few of my favorite celebrations from over the years, in no particular order:

• A car picnic with my son, who was four at the time.  He had sat through his immunizations without crying or fussing. We ate grocery store sushi (his choice) in the front  seat of the car while rain poured down and we waited for his older brother to get out of school.
• My husband and I have celebrated birthdays and anniversaries with takeout and a bottle of champagne after the kids go to bed.  We light candles, put on some nice music, and have dinner when going out isn't possible.
• In my house, we celebrate every solstice and equinox. The previous season's decorations come down, and new ones go up. We eat food that is newly in season, and set a beautiful a table to sit down and enjoy the seasonal cycle.
• Treats can be an excellent celebration of perfectly ordinary, yet vital events like managing to wash, dry, and fold all thirteen loads of laundry (don't judge, I don't have a washer and dryer in my apartment, so things can get out of hand quickly), an exam passed, or even to celebrate that we managed not to say something we were thinking in public.
• Alice's restaurant, near Portolla State Park was an impromptu celebration. While travelling to film one of the segments we will be putting on YouTube in the next month or so, we had an incident (one of my kids threw up in the car my husband was driving, then the car wouldn't start properly. We found ourselves at Alice's Gas Station, next to Alice's Restaurant, and inspiration struck!  As payment for all the Thanksgiving messages Heather's Uncle Chuckles (who is my step dad) likes to send with the Alice's' Restaurant song playing, all 18 and a half minutes of it, we took a picture of us in front of the sign and sent it to him.  We thought it was hilarious! My husband, not so much, but that's another story.  We took a minor set back in our plans and had fun with it.
• Midnight Margaritas (or Martinis or Mimosas)- There is a reason this scene from Practical Magic is so well liked. It's fun, it's happy, and anyone can do it!
• Dancing in the dark is a fun celebration. My kids like to go stargazing, and we always take minute or two to dance under the stars.
• Let a big "Woo hoo!"  Nobody said celebrations can't take a minute or less.
• A cup of tea, I will admit, this is Heather's. I drink tea, but I don't have a love affair with like she does. It can be a nice celebration for a cold, quiet morning, and it's even better with a good book if you ask me.
• Take a trip to celebrate. My husband and I spent a fabulous weekend driving up the Northern California coast in a borrowed Lotus for our 11th anniversary. We arranged a sitter for the kids, all weekend, and then we just wandered.  It was one of the best celebrations we've ever had! 
• Capture the moment- take a picture, write a journal entry, or just let things soak into your memory.

Celebrations can be anything that makes you happy and allows you to feel gratitude and joy. They can be spontaneous or contrived, big or small, social or solitary. We just need to do them to reap their benefit.  Every learning experience, every change, each connection, and any moment in which we embrace our situation can be something to appreciate.  We'd love to hear about your best celebrations- both big ones and small ones, so leave a comment, please!

A celebration of not cooperating

Laughing & Learning ~ another perspective

They say that laughter is the best medicine. I don't think it only needs to be used to cure ailments! Whether consciously or unconsciously I take every opportunity I can to laugh; be it at my friends, the situation or myself!  You'd think with all the laughing I do I'd have completely flat abs...but not so much!

In preparation for writing this I was in need of inspiration, Mandy sent me some articles from  her other blog. I read them; then responded "this is why you got learn then laugh & I get laugh then learn."  She then sent me an article that I had written for her blog over a year ago. I read the first sentence and was laughing hysterically. Laughing at what I wrote, laughing at the experience it took me back to and what I'd learned and have carried forward in my life from then onward.  My life seems to be filled with shenanigans that are not always my fault but often orchestrated by me accidentally of course!  And by accident, I've learned something in the midst of my laughter.

With everything that's going on in my life I try my best to see the upside of the situation. I'm the glass is half-full person, always the eternal optimist!

I'm currently taking a pottery class something I haven't done since college. I don't remember throwing clay being this tough previously. I was trying to center clay on the wheel the other day and by the time I finally accomplish this over half of what I started with was in the discard pile. I was covered in slip, it was even in my hair!  What was going to be something large and amazing turned out to be small and so different from my initial vision. I find that working with clay is rather similar to dealing with people. It has to be handled gently, it has a memory and very often you have to go much slower than anticipated (I tend to want to be speed racer; I prefer instant gratification as opposed to waiting patiently). 

I laugh at the process, this has made it easier for me to learn.  Recently, I was thanked by one of my classmates that my laughter has become contagious. I've developed new friendships (I'm now the pseudo daughter for the women in the class) and have learned much more than I would have anticipated. I value the lessons learned.

As long as you're enjoying the process and being in the moment that's the important part! Do you laugh and learn or learn and laugh? We'd love to hear about your process!

Learning and laughing- one perspective

Heather and I disagree, playfully, on how learning and laughing intersect with our rubric.  I tend to learn first, then laugh at myself, while Heather does it the other way.  The two are entwined for us, any way you slice it, though.

About a week ago, I had a learning experience I shouldn't have needed.  I didn't realize how funny it was until I was telling Heather about it and she just kept laughing about every other sentence. As I'm listening to her laugh, I'm realizing that the whole experience taught me several things, and that it was all very funny.  The lesson hadn't really hit home until I laughed about it.

My mother-in-law came to visit that weekend, and I should, after almost twenty years of dealing with her, know better than to expect things to run on time or smoothly. She's late for everything and has no qualms about disrupting other people's plans if she finds something she would rather do.  I had planned to get some work done on this project while she was in the Bay Area. I knew it was likely she would not cooperate, but I mentally planned all of it out anyhow. When she messed up my perfect schedule, I was a little irritated, but not surprised.

Telling Heather about this was an a adventure in itself.  Between my dawning realization at what I had done and said and grasping just how silly it was, I was processing my learning experience and giggling at the same time. In between guffaws, she said, "Wait, wait. Mandy. Why would you do that?"  The answer isn't pretty; I don't want to deal with my mother-in-law so I packed my mental schedule with things to do to avoid dealing with her.  Worse, I knew it wouldn't work and did it anyhow.  Heather loves to catch me in these moments because mine are less frequent but usually much bigger than hers, which means they also provide much more comedy.

Learning and laughing is important to creating a happier life. Laughter soothes the stings of life lessons, it helps us put things in perspective (without making us hurt), and it makes our stories so much more interesting by taking away their power to cloud our judgement.

Connect

What is it to connect?  It’s so easy today to avoid connecting with the people and the world around us.  We get caught up in our own minutia not realizing there is whole world interacting around us.  Connections are different for everyone.  What feels like an easy way to connect for me might seem incredibly terrifying for someone else.  I’m more of an extravert so striking up a conversation with a random person on the street, which I did last night, is just one of the numerous ways I connect with the world around me.  I make a point to go outside, take my shoes off and feel the ground underneath (I prefer sand and water but often settle for the grass in front of my apartment).  Each of these connections allows me embrace my surroundings and inspire me in different way.  I find regardless of the type of connection I’m making the most important thing is to be present in the moment.  Not thinking about what I have to do or imposing a particular outcome on the experience…just being there with all of my intention.

My car is in the shop, knowing I was going to be car-less for a day or two, I loaded my beach cruiser into my car prior to going to the repair shop.  Once done there I embraced my two mile journey home.  I confirmed that while biking I still do not like busy intersections (mental note: be more cognizant of the three foot bike law) and avoided those as much as possible, making me take a different path home.  Not going so fast I had the time to discover new treasures in my “neighborhood”.  There is a paper store with my friends name and a very unique iron works shop.  I believe there’s a hidden food establishment nearby (an adventure for another day) for the air changed from crisp, brisk, fall air to pizza filled.  I had to ride under the freeway, which sounded strangely like a train.  One intersection away from my destination, the sounds of the environment changed from industrial to laugher from the corner restaurant.  It wasn’t until that moment I realized my route had been people free.  Running errands later in the day on my bike was another adventure I again had time to take embrace my surroundings.  I complimented an elderly lady on her purple hat, I noticed Halloween decorated yards (these tend be huge sights around here since my area is filled with special effects people), I complimented two men on their progress on putting up a haunted house, it looked more like a scary clown house, to which I was invited to come back and check out the final product.  I don’t like to be scared so I told them I’d probably pass but then they invited me to be one of the ones scaring people, I said I’d think about their offer.  I was also complimented on how cute my bike was.

The compliment I received was delightful!  I re-learned that even the simplest connections have a huge impact on ones attitude and behavior and no matter how minute, have a ripple effect.  I’m making time and effort to have more connections.  I have started taking a class, have joined a support group for kids who have become caregivers (something I was completely against before), send random texts to my friends spreading my form of joy and of course I walk barefoot outside! 

There are so many ways to connect: compliment a stranger, call a friend, volunteer, write a letter (and mail it), send an unexpected text or email, smell the flowers while exploring your neighborhood and of course walk barefoot even if it is just in your house (although outside is a completely different experience)!

We love to be inspired & embrace your ideas!  Please share ways that you find connections with the people and world around you!